She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
