Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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