super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
