I am puke
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
