nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
