Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
