White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Randomize
