Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
