So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
