You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
