puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
