My room smells like vodka and shame
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize