you turned your livingroom into a bong?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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