is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
