ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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