every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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