Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize