I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize