omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
NoShamevember. You game?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
