just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
