you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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