She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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