did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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