your thong is hanging out like whoa
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm at about main and main street
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize