ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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