I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
