It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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