I faked an abortion last night.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize