I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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