the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
