the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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