is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
