the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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