i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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