I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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