why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
