PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
