Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
