I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize