Welp...herpes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
