Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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