As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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