Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
