Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
