You're so nebulous sometimes
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
