Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
