So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
