I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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