I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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