Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
