how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
