She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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