the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize