Your dad touched me again.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
