HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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