too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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