I met the friendliest cop last night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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