My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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