i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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