honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
