I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This house was built for laser tag.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
