Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
