I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
