we're blogging at a bar
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
