these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
