I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
