Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
