I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
