we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
