This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
