for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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