Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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