Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
