I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
