He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
