Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
