Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
